So, many have asked — and the answer is no. I’m not in Las Vegas…yet.
With a very heavy heart, I have decided I will depart tomorrow evening. I feel the weight of the evil that took place there – It’s taken me this long to begin processing any of it.
Tomorrow, I will hug Those Johnson Girls and The Man a little too tight, give them a few too many kisses, and board a plane with 5 of the raddest bossbabes I know.
You see, I won the opportunity to attend the national convention for my side business. I couldn’t have been more excited for my first ever trip to Las Vegas. But, when I woke up Monday — that was the last thing on my mind. I thought of all the people injured or brutally murdered at the hands of evil.
I was reminded of the mantra I have adopted for my life “The Answer is Never to Love Less” and wondered how in the hell that applied to this situation.
I have decided I will go. And I will celebrate life to the fullest for those who cannot. I will wear a sparkly dress — even if I feel numb and empty and heartbroken. These people showed up to a live concert because they loved life and loved a good time. These are my people. It’s personal. So personal.
So, I’m going to smile my best smile. Even if it’s fake for now. I will dance, I will sing, and I will laugh. I will celebrate life & I will live it to the fullest of my ability If not, then fear and evil win. It’s NOT a way to disgrace those who have or are actively suffering. I wrestled with that internal dialogue for some time. It’s a choice. I know my people. These are my people.
My cousin John was the first to clue me in on what had happened. We talked rationally about the statistics for a bit (because, I suspect we are both more comfortable talking this way) and without saying it – he said said “go”. I value him and his opinion. He’s level-headed, but also has a good soul. He’s my people too.
My mom opened my eyes to a new perspective tonight — the medical workers who have been working triple or quadruple shifts and not taking breaks to eat, use the bathroom or rest. They are saving countless lives and will never appear on TV lauded as heroes. You will never hear these stories. They won’t be on the news or in the paper. Because they can’t stop working. Ever.
I am looking for a way to give back while I’m there – maybe a way to thank the doctors, nurses, nursing assistants, …..? Suggestions welcome. All blood donation appointments for the area are booked solid — so I’ll have to find a different route to help. Ideas?
Prayer always helps – and they are welcome too. Please show those around you MORE love. Fear and evil cannot win. You are my people too. Thanks for being a part of this crazy journey.